Today was a bit Hellish. I went into work and well, on top of Dad's 5th Anniversary, it was a Monday.
I went to Tim Horton's this morning and got breakfast. Whenever Dad and Mom came to town, Dad and I would go to Tim Horton's and have coffee. We'd talk about things and generally enjoyed each other's company. God, I miss that.
I get to work and get to my cubicle, sit down and realize someone switched my chair. I then fought with the thing to make it somewhat close to comfortable. This actually upset me greatly whereas normally it would just annoy me.
I couldn't cope with the day and mercifully it went swiftly. Dealing with people today was very difficult. I had no patience and felt like crying for most of the morning.
At 12:30 I left work, got my mail, got some lunch, went to Shopper's Drug Mart and got some stuff to take to mom and finally dragged myself home. I promptly had a nap, which was probably a good thing.
I've been feeling down and weepy all day. Every anniversary of Dad's death, I go to a restaurant as my way of remembering Dad on this day. This year (as with last year) I got some take out. I got Japanese and then swung by Pizza Hut and got a "Canadian" individual pizza. Dad loved those.
I ate a slice of it, raised it to the heavens and told Dad I loved him. I find this ritual painful, but it is a need. Dad was worried that we would forget him. How could anyone forget their father? I loved that man so much. I don't think he realized how much.
To top this long, long day off, I ripped into one of my "friends" this evening. Why? Because he seems to think that certain privelages he enjoys are going to last forever with very little committment/effort on his part. This evening was not the evening to assume that everything was alright.
He couldn't even be bothered to initiate contact with me to ask how I was doing. I had to do that. Not impressive at all. So I think that things are going to change. And not for his benefit.
I'm having a weepy/angry day. But you know, I deserve one of those once in a while.
